02.11.08
Posted in Articles, Self Help at 12:27 am by Administrator
– by Suzanne Falter-Barns
Sooner or later, I can guarantee there will come a day when you decide the results aren’t shaping up quickly enough, or neatly enough, or clearly enough, and you entertain thoughts of quitting.
Most likely, this is your dark night of the soul. Things won’t be going well and you’ll question whether God or Whomever really wanted you to do this work, or the idea just showed up like some mutant cell in the gene pool.
Since we all know the evils of quitting, I’ll focus instead on what to do to help you hang tough. Here are steps to make sure your decision is the right one.
1. Take a break. Take a weekend or a week off from your project to think about what you’re doing. Often just some absence from the work, especially if you’ve been chipping away at it every day for a long time, is enlightening. You can gain just enough perspective to evaluate what’s truly going on. You might even want to take time to ask yourself the questions at the end of this chapter. (See “Ten Hard Questions To Ask Yourself When You Feel Like Quitting.”) Then, instead of acting rashly, you can act rationally.
2. Take a spiritual retreat. In the spirit of all the great religious seekers who ever wandered a desert, take a day, weekend, week, or even more time if you can, to tune in, spiritually. This could be a friend’s weekend house by the beach (if you go, make sure you’ve got some time to get away by yourself), a yoga retreat, a nearby nature sanctuary or state park that permits camping, or even a monastery or spiritual sanctuary. By removing yourself from the hustle bustle of everyday life, and going into a contemplative quiet place, you can really make the deep, life-altering decisions such times demand. I urge you to choose a place that is not only nurturing and soothing to your spirit, but one that allows you plenty of space, time and quiet to sort out your thoughts. There is an excellent list of such places at the end of this chapter, as well as key questions to ask yourself while you are there. (See Chapter X, “When, How, and Why to Disappear for a While.”)
3. Write down what’s going on. Your journal could be your greatest ally in this process, if you make time to empty your brain of all those frightened, frustrated thoughts that are kicking around in there. There is nothing worse for the creative flow than ‘brain jam’, the condition where your thoughts become so intense that they clog up your ability to think rationally. Indeed, too much thinking can paralyze you from any kind of action, and so you miss the opportunity to move forward. Again, take a look at the list of questions that follow and answer them for yourself in writing. 4. Get support. Just like an AA member contemplating going on a bender, you need to call your ’sponsor’ or greatest supporter and get help. This is precisely why you lined them up in the first place — so when the chips are down, they can talk you on to the next victory. If you feel squeamish about appearing in front of them in your most bedraggled state, remember that you would want them to come to you if they needed help this badly.
5. List the pros and cons. If none of the above seem to work, sit down with a piece of paper and evaluate the pros and cons of quitting your endeavor. Be brutally honest with yourself, and make sure each list is complete. Don’t leave a single pro or con unconsidered. Then walk away from your list. Take a look at it again in a few days, when you’ve had time for your thoughts to settle. Your perspective should be clearer and the answer obvious.
Try This …Ten Important Questions To Ask Yourself When You Feel Like Quitting1. What have I learned from my work in the past?1. What have I learned from my work in the past?2. What am I learning now?1. What have I learned from my work in the past?2. What am I learning now?3. Have I generally been a quitter in life?
1. What have I learned from my work in the past?2. What am I learning now?3. Have I generally been a quitter in life?4. What would I leave behind if I quit?
5. What will I never know about if I quit?
6. How will I feel about this at the end of my life?
7. What do I need to keep going?
8. What do I still need to learn?
9. How will I feel if I can achieve my goal?
10. How will achieving my goal help other people?
About the Author
Suzanne Falter-Barns is an expert at helping anyone get on with their creative dreams. Her web site, www.howmuchjoy.com, and the book that inspired it, How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine Wellspring; 2000) were born of Suzanne’s own creative meltdowns. You can reach Suzanne at info@howmuchjoy.com.
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Posted in Articles, Self Help at 12:21 am by Administrator
– Dr. Margaret Paul
Katheryn and Mathew, both in their 50’s, have been together for two years. Both have been previously married and divorced. When they met, they fell madly in love, which lasted for a few months. Then the conflicts started.
Both Katheryn and Mathew left their marriages because they were with partners who were completely unwilling to open to learning regarding the conflicts. Both Katheryn and Mathew wanted to find a partner who would learn and grow with them. They found each other at a personal growth seminar.
However, each time a conflict occurs, which is often at this point in their relationship, they both threaten to leave. Katheryn is consistently yelling, “I’m had it! I’m leaving!” while Mathew yells, “Why don’t you just leave!” They each have a foot out the door.
Katheryn and Mathew are stuck in a typical control-resist relationship system. Katheryn wants to leave because she is so frustrated by Mathew’s constant withdrawal and resistance, while Mathew wants to leave because he can’t stand Katheryn’s constant attempts to control him and make him responsible for her feelings.
Leaving is a waste of time for Katheryn and Mathew. Actually, these two people have exactly what they asked for - someone to learn and grow with. Both Katheryn and Mathew are willing to learn and explore at some point after the conflict. Each are slowly becoming more aware of their end of their dysfunctional relationship system. If they leave, they have no one to come up against, no one who triggers their issues, so their issues will not be addressed until they are in another relationship. Then the same issues will surface.
The people I work with often believe that it would be easier to start over with someone else, or easier to be alone. I assure them that, in my experience, all learning and growing relationships are very challenging - that all couples who desire to create a really wonderful and loving relationship have to go through the trenches of healing their wounds within the relationship. It may be easier to be alone, but it’s lonely and the major relationship issues never get healed.
If you are a person who deeply desires to continue your emotional and spiritual growth, and you are with a partner who also desires this, than DON’T LEAVE. No matter how bad the fights get or the distance gets - except if there is continued physical violence - keep at it. It’s too easy to leave, to easy to blame the other person, too easy to miss the incredible opportunity that relationships provide for healing and growth.
It’s especially important to hang in there when children are involved. I’m not saying to stay just for the children. If you are with a physically violent partner, or a partner who has no desire to take any personal responsibility or a substance abuser who has no desire to heal from his or her addiction, then you may need to leave. But if you have a partner who is on a growth path, who is willing to explore with you, who is willing to have counseling with you, who is willing to learn to take responsibility for him or herself, then leaving is not the answer. No matter how difficult things get at times, you have a responsibility to yourself, your partner, your family, as well as to the whole of humanity to do the learning you came to this planet to do.
If you are fortunate enough to be with a partner who is, at least at some of the time, opens to learning with you, you are fortunate indeed. The relationship will take you to the depths of your dark side and to the heights of your ability to love. It will take you where you need to go, so don’t give up just because it’s so hard. The challenge is to be doing a daily Inner Bonding practice of going within, connecting with yourself and with Spirit, and learning what it means to move beyond control, beyond resistance, beyond punishing the other, beyond threats and bullying, beyond blame, beyond being victim, beyond compliance, and beyond fear. The challenge is to be healing your wounded self and developing your loving adult, which occurs in growing relationships when both people are devoted to becoming loving adults. The challenge is to be guided more and more by your spiritual Guidance and less and less by your ego/wounded self.
Even if you think that you are open and your partner isn’t, it would be in your highest good to stay in the relationship until you are able to remain loving to yourself and your partner no matter what your partner is doing. As long as you are triggered by your partner’s behavior, your healing is not complete and there is no point in leaving. If you reach a point where you are no longer triggered by your partner’s behavior, you might discover that your partner has also changed, even though you believed he or she was not open to learning and growing. If your partner remains closed and there is really nothing more for you to learn, then it might be time for you to leave.
Get both feet in there and do your inner work before even thinking about leaving. Don’t let your wounded self decide your relationship for you. Don’t leave until you know that you are fully guided to do so from a spiritual source of wisdom and truth. Don’t waste this opportunity to evolve your soul in love.
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. INNER BONDING is a transformational six-step spiritual pathway that creates a powerful connection with your core Self and your Higher Guidance. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.
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Posted in Articles, Meditation, Self Help at 12:20 am by Administrator
When you drive a car, do you start the motor, put it in gear, then open the door, jump out, run around behind and push? Of course you don’t! You stay in your seat with your hands on the steering wheel and guide or steer the car to wherever you want it to go. The point here is that when you attempt to do the car’s part, you fail to do your own.
Your part in the Creative Process of Manifestation is to provide the intention, the mental pattern, for the Creative Energy that flows through your mind to do its work. You direct your intention, but then give the Creative Energy complete freedom to do its work, in its own way - which, by the way, is more than you could have ever imagined.
Everything we want to create is form. And every form, every form, has an energy pattern that makes up that form. When the energy pattern behind the form is complete, the form manifests into your physical experience. That’s the process. You can’t possibly make sure all the energy patterns that are contained within that form are in place, that’s the job of Creative Energy (God, the Universe, whatever you resonate with). Your job is to intend that the Creative Energy pull together all the necessary energy patterns that will make up that form, in its perfection.
Now I know this may seem like a lot at once and simultaneous incredibly simple, but go over and over this until you understand the principle. This is how you can fulfill your part of the Creative Process of Manifesting, which is a co-creative process for drawing what you want into your life.
Exercise: Sit quietly and undisturbed, relax yourself with your breath, and think of something you want to experience or have and make the intention that this thing (form) become part of your experience. Now, in a relaxed manner, imagine this form complete in your life. How do you feel, what do you see, how is your life more expanded now that this form is in your life? Now give it over to the Creative Energy, which is unlimited by the way, and let it do its part. Your part is done, that simple.
Should you think of this form after you’ve take the time to do this, only think in terms of experiencing it as already being in your life. Thinking of the absence of it because it hasn’t shown up yet, is like planting a seed and digging it up every few days because you don’t see the flower blooming.
By doing this exercise, you not only begin strengthening your trust level, but you release any blocks in the way so that all the behind the scenes stuff that has to happen by the Creative Energy is given its chance.
Enjoy not having to do it all!
About the Author
© Gabriele Reign is a Mentor of Alchemy and the creator of dynamics that teach step-by-step processes to guide you to live the life you’ve always imagined for yourself. If you’re interested in group or private mentoring, or to learn more about alchemy, feel free to visit: www.DynamicLifeNow.com..
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Posted in Articles, Meditation, Self Help at 12:18 am by Administrator
– By Jim Malloy
One of the biggest lessons on the spiritual journey is learning to love unconditionally. However, what is often overlooked is the importance of loving yourself along with everything else. After all, aren’t you a part of the whole of Life? There’s a wonderful Japanese poem - a haiku - which cleverly illustrates this. It goes, “My horse clip-clopping through the field. Aha! I am part of the picture!” As you grow to realize that you are an integral part of Life’s grand picture, it becomes clear that loving yourself along with everything else is part of the deal.
Some of you may feel uncomfortable with the idea of self love, because it’s often interpreted as being overly self involved. Many religions teach that total selflessness is the ideal, and that self love is the antithesis of being selfless. I’m not at all knocking selflessness, but is self love really opposed to selflessness? And is it the same as being too self involved? What actually is self love?
Self love is largely a matter of unconditional self acceptance, with a bit of appreciation and compassion for oneself thrown in. Can you accept yourself unconditionally… that is, without having to fulfill certain conditions, or live up to some particular standard? If not, what do you have to do or be, to fully accept yourself? Do you have to be successful? Do you have to look a certain way? Do you have to be giving all the time? Do you have to be constantly productive? The list of conditions we may attach to self acceptance goes on and on.
What are Your Conditions for Self Love?
If you take a deep and honest look inside yourself, you may find that your conditions for loving yourself are very similar to the (spoken or unspoken) conditions that your parents attached to their love and approval. The idea here, is not to put the blame on your parents. Like most humans, they were probably doing the best they could within their limited framework. And, believe it or not, you chose them as a necessary part of your spiritual curriculum.
However, the common tendency is to adopt these parental conditions as our own conditions for loving ourselves. As we take on these conditions, another interesting dynamic often occurs. We tend to project these conditions for being loved onto Spirit. Somewhere deep in our consciousness, the belief develops that “God will only love me if I’m _________.” (Fill in the blank with whatever conditions you discover.) Of course this belief is absolutely erroneous, because Spirit’s love is absolutely unconditional.
But in our minds - generally our subconscious minds - our parents’ conditions for loving us, Spirit’s conditions for loving us, and our own conditions for loving ourselves, all become intertwined. As a result, we may go through life constantly striving to meet these conditions, as an unconscious attempt to earn the love of Spirit, family, and self. And because the conditions are rarely attained in full, healthy self love remains elusive.
Self Love Shortage and its Effects?
What are the major effects of not loving ourselves?
1. It makes it difficult to truly love others. This is because we tend to judge them by the same conditions with which we judge ourselves.
2. It makes it difficult for us to accept love from another, because if we don’t fit our conditions for self love, we tend to feel that we are not lovable.
3. A shortage of self love also tends to pose a major obstacle to creating the life we hope for. If we believe we are not acceptable to Spirit, we naturally assume that we don’t deserve Life’s abundant gifts and the loving support of the Universe in our undertakings. This deep belief unconsciously sends a negative message to the Universe - a command to the cosmic computer - which is essentially saying, “I’m not worthy, so no matter how much I might ask, or pray, or whine, do not fulfill my hopes and dreams.” In this way, we punish ourselves by sabotaging our own efforts. Spirit never punishes us, but we can do a remarkably good job of punishing ourselves.
On the other hand, what are the positive effects of loving yourself? If you have a healthy sense of self love, you will find it much easier to love others, and much easier to accept the love of others. When you love yourself, you feel deserving of the good things in life and the powerful support of the Universe. This naturally opens the door for your hopes and dreams to be fulfilled more easily, and for your life to proceed with more green lights than red.
Cultivating Self Love
Here are some exercises you can do for developing greater self love.
1. Deepening your awareness. That means doing a bit of honest soul-searching… asking yourself, “Is there a shortage of self love in my life? And if so, why?… what are the underlying dynamics?” There are a number of ways to shine a light into the unconscious caverns of your mind… quiet reflection, talking it out with a trusted friend or therapist, or writing in a journal are all good approaches. What works best for you?
2. Convincing your conscious and subconscious mind that Spirit is unconditionally loving. A willingness to re-examine and toss out old beliefs, and to accept this new belief, is usually sufficient for your conscious mind. However, your subconscious mind - which stores information much like a computer - may need a bit of “re-programming.” The daily repetition of a positive affirmation - such as “Spirit is unconditionally loving” - is one of the most commonly used methods for this. Affirmations can be written, spoken aloud, or repeated mentally. Self hypnosis is also a widely used method for re-programming the subconscious mind.
3. Making a list of all your positive qualities. Even though you are cultivating “unconditional” self acceptance, this helps create a shift toward thinking of yourself in a more positive light.
4. Meditating on self love. Here is a simple meditation for learning to accept and appreciate yourself just as you are.
This meditation is done from the perspective of your “Spiritual Self.” Your Spiritual Self is one and the same as your innermost awareness… it is the quiet, non-judging observer within you. All the rest of you… your body, mind, emotions, personal traits, etc., we will refer to as your “personality.” Just for this exercise, think of your personality as a separate person.
* Sit comfortably and close your eyes (after you have read these instructions).
* Now begin to observe your personality… notice your thoughts, your emotions, how your body feels, etc..
* Take some time to get aquainted with your personality. Objectively think about its various characteristics.
* Next, imagine that your personality is your child, and that you are its parent.
* See this child as a perfect creation of Spirit… still growing into its highest potential, but perfect at whatever stage it’s now at.
* Accept your child as it is… accept it completely, just as it is.
* Look at your child with appreciation and compassion. Look fondly and compassionately at your child, with all of its strengths and positive traits, as well as it’s various weaknesses and follies.
* Open your heart and embrace this child with complete, unconditional love.
Practicing any or all of the above exercises will help deepen your self love. Although encountering challenges along the way is a necessary part the spiritual journey, you will find that healthy self love can be a tremendous ally in smoothing out the rough and rocky stretches of your path.
About the Author
Trained as a meditation teacher in 1973 by the International Meditation Society, Jim Malloy has 30 years of experience teaching meditation. He has taught meditation classes throughout the western and southwestern United States and in England. In 1975 he opened and directed a meditation center on the Oregon coast.
He has been practicing daily meditation for 37 years. To deepen his practice and further his teaching skills, he has studied with some of the world’s foremost experts on meditation from India, Japan, and Tibet… including Maharishi Mahesh Yogi; Swami Muktananda; Joshu Sasaki Roshi; Shunryu Suzuki Roshi; and the 16th Karmapa.
You can learn more at www.meditationcenter.com or contact Jim Malloy by email: jmalloy@meditationcenter.com.
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Posted in Articles, Inspiration, Meditation, Spiritual at 12:16 am by Administrator
– By Jim Malloy
Have there ever been times in your life when you needed some guidance?… some direction in life, or a bit of help making a major decision? Where did you turn? To a trusted friend? A family member? An astrologer or psychic? Maybe you found some helpful direction from these sources, or maybe not. Did you ever wish that there was a higher source of wisdom and guidance you could turn to? One that is free from human bias, whose wisdom is absolutely trustworthy? This higher source of guidance does, indeed exist, and is closer than you may imagine. It is always available to you.
Each of you has at least one spiritual guide that is “assigned” to you, and stays with you throughout your life to assist you as needed. (This is not the same as your guardian angel.) You also have what is called your Higher Self. Your Higher Self is that part of your consciousness that is one with Spirit, and therefore, always in touch with the Higher Cosmic Wisdom. Your spiritual guide and your Higher Self assure that there are at least two higher sources of guidance available to you.
Now even though this higher guidance is always available to you, when you begin meditating and traveling your spiritual path, an interesting shift occurs. The light of your Inner Spirit begins to shine more brightly, and this light becomes a sort of beacon, signaling those in the higher spiritual realms that your spiritual journey has truly begun. To assure that your journey goes along in harmony with the cosmic plan, you begin to attract various teachers and guides to fill special needs for your soul’s growth.
These wise and loving beings, who are present to help you travel your spiritual path, gently and quietly suggest possibilities and positive choices whenever needed. However, this must be done without interfering with your free will. This is very important, because cosmic law dictates that your freedom of choice cannot be taken away. This is especially true here on Planet Earth, where learning to make choices is an essential part of the curriculum. So your guides won’t make your decisions for you, or tell you what you “must” do. Rather, they will gently whisper suggestions, and then leave the rest up to you.
This effortless collaboration with your guides is occurring more than you may know. Much of the time when you are making life choices, you are receiving higher guidance. (I’m not referring to mundane choices, such as which kind of breakfast cereal to buy, but choices that have a reasonable impact on your life or the lives of others.) You may not be aware of it, but your guides are there, assisting you.
For example, have you ever been heading somewhere and had a sudden urge to stop at a place that wasn’t on your planned itinerary, only to run into an old friend. Perhaps this friend has some information for you - or vice versa - that turns out to be quite meaningful. Or perhaps your meeting leads to some positive new opportunity for one or both of you. These kinds of synchronicities begin to occur more frequently for those traveling their spiritual path. And what’s behind them? It’s your spiritual guides whispering gentle suggestions in your ear. This guidance process can be easy and spontaneous… part of the natural dynamic of your life.
Speedbumps on the Path
However, sometimes you may go through periods when it seems as though the choice-making process is a struggle. You may feel confused, ambivalent, or completely clueless. At these times, something is obstructing the clear flow of inner guidance, as well as the clarity of your own thinking process. What causes this? The most common cause is the constricting anxiety that comes from “over-importantizing” decisions… giving too much weight to the outcome.
What often adds to the anxiety, is the notion that there is one right choice, and we have to discover what it is. There is a tendency to feel - either consciously or unconsciously - that if we make the right choice, The Universe will smile upon us, doing everything possible to support us. Our road will be smooth and easy. Everything will work out perfectly… the right choice will lead us to nirvana.
But if we make the wrong choice… take the wrong road, we fear that we will encounter countless obstacles, and nothing will work out favorably. Although we may blame “The Universe” for making this road so hard to find, it is generally the anxiety of thinking we must find the one right way that makes it difficult.
Now, sometimes there is one choice that is more in harmony with your soul’s plan, and may well lead to greater joy than the other choices. However, when this is the case, The Universe does not obscure it just to see if you can find it. That would serve no positive purpose. On the contrary, it tends to post signs flashing “this way,” all around you, and in every corner of your psyche. And if you do happen to choose another route, The Universe does not withhold it’s unconditionally loving support because of it.
However, quite often there is not just one road that you are meant to take, but several possible roads, leading to several “possible futures” that will all bear fruit in some way. And all will have their joys as well as their challenges. From the higher cosmic perspective, your soul’s growth is the top priority, and life is set up so that even the dumbest choices will open a doorway to growth and valuable spiritual lessons.
Follow Your Bliss
If you ask for higher guidance, more often than you may imagine, your guides will encourage you to do what you love, i.e. to follow your heart’s desire… your highest ideal. Or as the great mythologist, Joseph Campbell put it, to “follow your bliss.” Of course, that excludes anything that will cause anyone any harm. Such choices may catalyze a feeling of elation or excitement within you when you think about them.
On the other hand, there may be occasions when your higher guidance will encourage you to do what’s best for all concerned, even if it does not seem so blissful. In such cases, you most likely know what to do already, but may try to ignore it, hoping your guides will get you off the hook with an easier course to take.
When you begin to understand these dynamics of choice and of working with your guides, things tend to lighten up considerably. You begin to feel free of the pressure, and are less likely to over-importantize, and agonize over decisions. Choices start to come more easily… sometimes instantly, sometimes emerging and taking shape gradually. You begin to trust more in your instincts and intuition. And when you aren’t all knotted up with anxiety, you are way more receptive to the gentle whisperings of your spiritual guides. So the whole process once again becomes a spontaneous collaboration between you and your higher guidance.
Inviting Higher Guidance
Of course, there may still be occasions when a major life choice is not perfectly clear, and you feel the need for some extra help. At these times, it’s best to turn within and ask for higher guidance. In such cases, the same principle holds true… the more you can relax and not get all knotted up with anxiety over the outcome, the easier it is to be receptive to your guides. For these occasions, here’s an easy exercise you can do to get in touch with your Higher Self when you need some guidance.
1. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed. Breathe easily and naturally.
2. Imagine yourself in a place where you feel completely comfortable and at peace. It may be somewhere in nature, a room where you feel very comfortable… wherever you feel most at peace.
3. Picture a being of light approaching from a distance. You can see that this being is radiating great peace, love, and wisdom.
4. As he or she reaches you, you realize that it is your Higher Self.
5. Invite your Higher Self to sit with you. Notice how you feel completely at home and at peace in it’s unconditionally loving presence.
6. Briefly explain the situation to your Higher Self, and ask for his or her guidance.
7. Then you can either sit quietly, waiting for the response… or you can carry on a dialogue with your Higher Self.
You may receive an answer immediately, or after a short time. Your Higher Self may give you an answer in the form of words, symbols, pictures, or just a deep knowing. The answer may be very specific, or it may come in the form of a higher truth, which sheds enough light on the situation to help you choose wisely. If you don’t receive an answer while you are sitting, it’s ok. You have still begun the guidance process, and that’s important. Once you have begun the process, your guidance will most likely find you at a moment when you are not trying to find it.
Guidance from your Higher Self or your spiritual guides should always be gentle, and feel kind, compassionate, and accepting. It should never be a command (except in rare, life threatening situations requiring instant action). If a guide tells you that you “must” do this or that, it is not your Higher Self or a higher spirit guide. Simply disregard the advice, and ask it to move along.
Remember, you are being gently guided and lovingly cared for at all times. The more you learn to trust this, the easier it will be for your Higher Self and spiritual guides to assist you, and the more harmonious and enjoyable your journey will be.
About the Author
Trained as a meditation teacher in 1973 by the International Meditation Society, Jim Malloy has 30 years of experience teaching meditation. He has taught meditation classes throughout the western and southwestern United States and in England. In 1975 he opened and directed a meditation center on the Oregon coast.
He has been practicing daily meditation for 37 years. To deepen his practice and further his teaching skills, he has studied with some of the world’s foremost experts on meditation from India, Japan, and Tibet… including Maharishi Mahesh Yogi; Swami Muktananda; Joshu Sasaki Roshi; Shunryu Suzuki Roshi; and the 16th Karmapa.
You can learn more at www.meditationcenter.com or contact Jim Malloy by email: jmalloy@meditationcenter.com.
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Posted in Alternative Medicine, Articles, Yoga at 12:06 am by Administrator
– By Sheri Kauhausen
We all know breath is life. In fact, in yogic philosophy one believes we are allotted a pre-determined number of breaths for our time here on Earth. If breathing is done hurriedly, instead of slowly and relaxed, one’s life is ended prematurely. The breath in yoga is called prana, which means life force or energy. It is stored in the solar plexus and sent through the body to recharge the various parts. Yogic breathing is called pranayama.
The origins of yoga are thousands of years old. Stone carvings that depict yoga postures have been found by archeologists dating back about 5000 years. The word yoga means “union” or “to unite.” In yoga we unite the mind, body, spirit and breath. It can be practiced by anyone, regardless of age, gender, religion, or fitness level.
There are very few prerequisites to practicing yoga. Bare feet are essential, as well as loose comfortable clothing. Slow, controlled movements make sure that each posture is performed only to the farthest comfortable depth. Eating a few hours before practice, ensures that you do not have a full stomach nor an empty one. It is important to remember that you should never feel pain. Pain is your body’s way of telling you to STOP. Always respect it.
Be mindful of your breath. Your breath should be comfortable and steady while holding postures. During vinyasa (flowing movement) asana (postures), the breath should still be comfortable and steady, but may take on a more forceful quality. If you cannot breathe rhythmically, that is a sign that you are practicing too strenuously. Take a step back and slow down. Do not compete - with yourself or anyone else. This is your practice and your time. Do only what you are comfortable with and hold each posture, or practice each breath, only for as long as you remain in your comfort zone. I’ve heard a saying many times that I particularly identify to yoga. “Do not worry about your destination, enjoy the journey.” Your perfect posture is what you can do today, right now, this minute. Relax…and enjoy your journey.
As we learn to breathe properly it is important to note we are required to use our lungs correctly. Many of us use only 1/5 to 1/3 or our lung capacity, breathing only into the upper portion of our lungs. As we age and acquire more stress and tension in our lives, our breathing becomes less and less integral. Take note of your breathing pattern the next time you are anxious, scared, angry or frustrated. Compare it to a time when you are feeling relaxed, joyful or content. You can affect your emotions with the rhythm of your breath. Slow, relaxed breaths promote harmony and tranquillity.
The diaphragm is the major muscle used for respiration. As the lungs fill during inhalation, the diaphragm descends toward the abdominal organs. During exhalation, the lungs deflate and the diaphragm relaxes. Slow deep breathing allows for a good massage of the abdominal organs as well as strengthening and toning the abdominal muscles.
Each of the following breaths can be performed on its own or along with an asana. If combining the breath with asana, hold the asana for as long as comfortable. If you are a complete beginner, start with about 10 seconds. Gradually increase your holding time. If you are practicing the breath on its own, begin with 5 to 10 breaths. Again, increase the number of breaths as you become more comfortable with it.
The first breath we will look at is the COMPLETE BREATH. It is the basis of all other breathing techniques. In it we learn to slow our breath from a usual 15 to 20 breaths per minute to about 6 breaths per minute. Here we begin to understand how to correctly and completely fill our lungs with the much needed life force or prana. The Complete Breath is an excellent way to begin to reduce tension.
Let’s begin by performing a few Abdominal Breaths, just to see what it feels like to use the lower portion of our lungs. Sit comfortably with your shoulders relaxed and your chin level with the floor. Your back should be erect, but not rigid. Inhale through your nose letting your abdomen expand. Allow your ribs and chest to remain soft and relaxed. Exhale, through your nose, contracting the abdomen and relaxing the diaphragm. Practice this a few times. Be aware of how you feel. With your next breath, begin expanding the abdomen then continue to inhale and expand your rib cage and then fill your chest with breath. Begin to exhale by contracting your abdomen, then squeeze your ribs together and lastly, relax your chest. Continue to breathe in this fashion. This is the Complete Breath and along with reducing stress, it improves the quantity and quality of oxygen that enters your body. It helps to combat shortness of breath, calm the nervous system and the mind, and improve digestion. This is the breath to practice when feeling angry, impatient or nervous. It lowers the blood pressure and massages the heart. As you continue to breathe, notice if you can take the breath into not only the front of your body, but into the sides and back of your body as well.
The UJJAYI BREATH (Victorious Breath) is another traditional yoga breath. It too, richly oxygenates and purifies the blood, lowers blood pressure and is beneficial to those who suffer respiratory problems such as asthma. The Ujjayi breath helps to remove phlegm from the throat and improve digestion. It calms the nervous system and helps to draw the mind’s attention inward allowing the practitioner to stay focused.
The Ujjayi Breath takes the Complete Breath one step further becoming a more dynamic breath. This time as you inhale through your nose, the breath passes across the roof of your mouth to the back of your throat with a hissing sound. It sounds like the flow of the ocean tide. As you exhale, the air is pushed out past the back of your throat, then across the roof of your mouth, out your nostrils. The epiglottis is slightly restricted to obtain the hissing sound. This one is a little tricky and may take some time to perfect.
The third breath is called the KAPALABHATI BREATH (Skull Shining Breath). It is not recommended for those who suffer with emphysema, blood pressure problems or women who are pregnant. This is a very strong abdominal breath. Slowly and fully inhale through your nose. Exhale very quickly through your nose, as though you have been punched in the stomach, by contracting the abdominal muscles back toward your spine. Relaxing the abdominal area, begin another breath repeating the same forceful action for the exhalation. The inhalation should take slightly longer than the exhalation. Many of the benefits attributed to the Complete Breath and Ujjayi Breath pertain to the Kapalabhati. The strong pumping action of this breath also stimulates the liver, spleen and pancreas and helps to relieve constipation.
About the Author
Sheri Kauhausen has been teaching yoga in Vancouver, British Columbia since 1987. She has been an active yoga practitioner for more than 30 years and brings the wisdom of her studies to her students at their work place and in community centers. She also enjoys teaching infant massage and baby sign language to parents and caregivers. Sheri enjoys teaching yoga classes to students at beginner and intermediate levels, as well as to seniors, and pregnant moms. She is the proprietor of INTO YOGA, which offers on-site yoga, pilates, body rolling and massage in the work place.
Sheri can be reached at (604) 421-9872 or intoyoga@yahoo.com. Visit her website at www.intoyoga.ca.
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Posted in Articles, Yoga at 12:05 am by Administrator
– By Veronica Shaffer
Are you looking for more yoga clients and an opportunity to increase your income or add zest to ongoing classes? When a busy Holistic Health Center offering yoga classes seven days a week asked me to design a spring program for them, I was reluctant. I was intimidated by the center’s competitive teaching positions, and the large clientele who filled the classes— but decided to accept the challenge and create a new program for the center.
To begin the process, I asked several questions: What are people’s needs? Which styles of yoga are currently popular, and what could I use as a marketing strategy to attract clients? The first thing that came to mind in the “needs” category is weight; everyone is looking for the magic weight-loss potion, a new solution to an old problem. Stress is another concern. People are perpetually seeking techniques to reduce stress in their lives. The final key point is commitment, because most of us always vow, swear and promise to take care of ourselves in a more healthy way, but don’t follow through on the promise. Convincing people to make that phone call to register for a class means getting them to commit emotionally and financially. I have taught many courses, and learned that being prepaid for a specific time period is important. People will take their involvement much more seriously if they have put money on the line. You may want to add an incentive such as “Pay by a specific date and receive a 10% discount, or full price after a later specific date.”
Keeping in mind the components of weight, relaxation and commitment, I started to write out all my basic thoughts on paper about these topics. For the advertisement, I came up with the heading “Fit and Wellness.” These words I hoped would draw the reader’s attention to the practices of being fit and staying well. For the class, I wanted a catchy phrase that hooked the reader and sounded like a different approach to weight loss. So “Stretch, Sweat and Shed” became my focal words. I expanded on those three words, defining how this would work in my yoga program. I explained that we would be doing Hatha yoga, a gentle stretching and breathing. I added the word “hot” to show that with the temperature raised, participants would sweat and shed.
After grabbing the readers’ attention with my catch phrase, the ultimate goal would be for them to continue reading and enthusiastically sign up for the course. I waited anxiously as the center’s newsletter was sent out, and within two weeks I had sixteen sign-ups, the maximum for the class. I ran the program again and twelve enrolled, with three from the previous class choosing to recommit.
The amazing thing about this course was that on the first day of class I asked, “Who has done yoga before?” Only three had! Here was a wonderful opportunity to introduce yoga to a new community, and it also told me that the weight focus had been the marketing lure. The group shared during those six weeks they were feeling better, had more energy, were able to handle stress in a relaxed way, slept well and looked at food differently, and overall made healthier decisions.
About the Author
Veronica Shaffer is a Reiki teacher, polarity practioner, yoga instructor and meditation facilitator. She leads meditation and relaxation groups twice a month in her home in Massachusetts. Shaffer also works with women in prison, in a program called Fit and Wellness. The program uses meditation and yoga to offer a positive support system for the inmates everyday lives. You can reach Veronica Shaffer by e-mail at vas4@adelphia.net.
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Posted in Articles, Yoga at 12:04 am by Administrator
– By Thomas Claire
The following yoga posture is an especially powerful one for men to incorporate into their self-care practices. It is one among many poses in my new book, Yoga for Men: Postures for Healthy, Stress-Free Living (Career Press/New Page Books, 2004). Yoga for Men contains the information and tools to help men manage stress and relieve the aches and pains caused by physical exertion and age.
While the following yoga stretch is great for men, women may also find it beneficial! As with any physical activity, individuals with any specific physical concerns or complaints should check with their primary healthcare provider before undertaking any exercise program.
Uttanasana: Standing Forward Bend with Arms Raised Overhead and Behind
Many men are so busy working and competing in the day-to-day world that they don’t take the time to care for themselves. Standing Forward Bend with Raised Arms can help you to nurture yourself by centering, expanding your chest area, opening your shoulders, and practicing from your heart.
Today’s man often spends a great deal of time bending forward with arms stretched in front while working at a desk, typing at the computer, or sitting behind the steering wheel of a car. This can lead to a rounding forward in the chest area. Men who work out a lot trying to develop strong pectoral muscles may actually contribute even further to this rounding tendency. Because many men can benefit from an opening of the chest, and heart, area, an especially good stretching posture to incorporate into your wellness routine is a Standing Forward Bend with Raised Arms. Follow the directions below and try it out for yourself.
Assume an erect standing position, your feet parallel and hip-width apart. Keeping your arms straight, move them back behind you. Bring your palms together and interlace your fingers behind your back. Inhale as you arch your chest and the front of your pelvic basin forward, letting your neck roll gently backward so that your nose tilts toward the ceiling. (If you experience any neck problems, be careful not to arch your neck back too far.) Keep your arms as straight as possible, and, if you can, your palms pressed against one another throughout the remainder of the exercise. If this is too difficult for you, then simply interlock your fingers together without palms touching. Exhale as you bend forward from the hips allowing your upper body and head to lower toward the floor. As you lower your upper body, press your arms and hands out in back from you and away from your body, keeping your arms as straight as possible. Rotating your arms from the shoulders, press your hands as far in back of you as you can, then up toward the ceiling, and, if possible, out over your back so that they are pointing in front and away from your body. The model pictured above is experienced and accomplished in this pose. Work within your own limit of comfort when performing this yoga stretch. With practice, your execution of the pose will most likely become even fuller. Bear in mind when beginning your practice that yoga is about progress, and not necessarily absolute perfection.
Breathe several full, deep rhythmic breaths in your fullest position of Standing Forward Bend with Raised Arms. Feel your heart center opening and expanding as your chest, shoulders, and even armpits expand and widen. To come out of this pose, inhale as you slowly raise your upper body back to a full standing position while releasing your arms down along the sides of your body. Come back to a comfortable, erect standing position. Take several deep breaths as you take the time to be aware of how you feel. In particular, bring your awareness to your heart and chest area. In Sanskrit, this posture is referred to as uttanasana, or “intense stretch.” How do you feel after this intense heart-opening stretch? Do you feel more open and expanded? Does your breathing feel different? Do you feel different? Do you perhaps feel more open to life’s possibilities?
This is a simple yet powerful yoga pose that you can incorporate into your daily life at work or at home. Take a few minutes every now and then throughout the day to open your heart and stretch out your chest with this powerful yogic forward bend. If you’re new to yoga, bear in mind that yoga can be fun. It’s not about competition. Work within your own edge of comfort: Yoga can be challenging, but it is not meant to be stressful.
About the Author
These postures are adapted from Thomas Claire’s most recent book, Yoga for Men: Postures for Healthy, Stress-Free Living (Career Press/New Page Books, 2004). Thomas Claire is considered one of the country’s foremost experts on bodywork, yoga, and stress reduction. In addition to Yoga for Men, he is the author of the critically acclaimed guide, Bodywork: What Type of Massage to Get – and How to Make the Most of It (William Morrow, 1995), that has come be considered the “bible” in the field. Thomas facilitates classes and workshops for individuals, organizations, and corporations, as well as individually tailored personal development and stress reduction programs throughout the United States and Europe. Thomas Claire may be contacted at thomasclaire@aol.com or visit his website www.thomasclaire.com.
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Posted in Articles, Pilates, Yoga at 12:02 am by Administrator
– By Deborah Harris
It seems that these days you can hardly turn on a television without hearing someone mention Pilates or Yoga. Articles on Pilates and Yoga fill numerous magazines and it seems “everyone who is anyone” is doing one or the other. Why all the excitement? What is so special about these techniques? What are the similarities and differences between Pilates and Yoga?
Yoga, as we all know it, is aimed to unite the mind, the body, and the spirit. Yogis view that the mind and the body are one, and that if it is given the right tools and taken to the right environment, it can find harmony and heal itself. Yoga therefore is considered therapeutic. It helps you become more aware of your body’s posture, alignment and patterns of movement. It makes the body more flexible and helps you relax even in the midst of a stress stricken environment.
This is one of the foremost reasons why people want to start practicing Yoga - to feel more fit, to be more energetic, be happier and peaceful. The Yoga movements are performed, mostly, in a group setting on a special Yoga mat with an aid of a Yoga instructor.
The body’s own weight is used for resistance and a great deal of focus is accorded to the flow from one posture into the other. There are many different Yoga styles and they differ in their emphasis. No one style is better than the other. The Style you use is a matter of personal preference or a matter of need.
Vinyasa Yoga, for example, makes use of modified Yoga Poses that are designed to meet the specific needs of an individual and to enhance healing, flexibility and strength of joints. The poses also intend to promote the feeling of well-being and strength. Practices may also include meditation, reflection, study and other classic elements, but the emphasis of this branch of Yoga practice is on coordinating breath and movement. As you can imagine, given the scope of practice, the inherent therapeutic applications and the heritage of the lineage, the training requirements for teacher certification are extensive.
Pilates seek to reach much the same goals, also via a series of controlled movements. The major difference is that the Pilates technique not only has a full complement of matwork, but it incorporates work on the Pilates machines. The emphasis of the exercises is to strengthen the abdominals, improve posture, stabilize and lengthen the spine, improve balance and overall strength. Pilates gives you a longer, leaner, dancer-like line.
Unlike many other training programs, Pilates works the whole body, emphasizing control, precision and concentration in both the mind and the body. Movements are not performed rapidly or repeated excessively instead, the focus is on quality not quantity. The abdominal muscles, lower back and buttocks (”powerhouse”) serve as the center of all movement, allowing the rest of the body to move freely. This focus on core stabilization makes one stronger from the inside out and is critical for the advancement of the client.
The low impact nature of Pilates makes it ideal for injury prevention and rehabilitation. Its six principles-concentration, control, centering, breathing, flow and precision-train the body to move efficiently with minimal impact on the body. The balance between strength and flexibility creates a healthy, vigorous and symmetrical workout for all muscle groups resulting in a leaner, more balanced, and stronger body.
If after reading about both techniques you are still left with a question of which of these two fitness techniques is right for you then here is the answer: Do them both in conjunction! The nature of the techniques makes it easy for them to complement each other. Get the stretch from Yoga and keep it from Pilates. Strengthen your abdominals on the reformer and watch your poses improve.
Join the breathing techniques of Pilates and meditative aspect of Yoga into your daily routine and see the stress of your everyday life, begin to dissipate. Both techniques are time-proven, established, and with the help of an experienced instructor, you will surely reach the goals you set up for yourself!
About the Author
Deborah Harris runs her own Pilates & Yoga NJ studio Premier Pilates & Yoga in Warren, NJ. Check out www.Yoga-n-Pilates.com or call us at (908) 754 5901 for further information on Pilates and Yoga, and for tips on picking the right studio for you.
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02.10.08
Posted in Articles, Yoga at 11:47 pm by Administrator
– By Bruce Van Horn, Author of Yoga for Men
The ancient Yogic tradition of India viewed sexuality as an important path toward spiritual healing and body-mind-spirit integration. Unlike western religious tradition, which viewed sexual desire at odds with spirituality. This had the unfortunate consequence of creating societies that have institutionalized feelings of shame and guilt, to such an extent that people have to become intoxicated with alcohol or drugs in order to feel free to pursue their desire.
Eastern philosophy, on the other hand, celebrated the magnificence of creation and developed a science for understanding how to get the most out of this joyful, healing, spiritual experience.
In Tantra, energy is viewed as the source of life. Sexual energy is divine energy. Men can learn to channel that energy and extend arousal before they ejaculate. In fact trained yogic masters can maintain their state of arousal for upwards of an hour.
There are a few exercises, which along with some small dietary modifications, that can have a profound effect on your sexual performance:
Physical Exercises:
These exercises include breathing, contractions and holding certain positions. The key to really letting go is developing a state of discipline and concentration, so that you can stay in the meditative state throughout the sexual experience.
1)The Moola Bandha (Benefits include improved prostate functioning, and enhanced sexual performance)
Chair: If you are able to, sit upright in your chair. Take a few deep breaths and then on the exhalation, begin to contract your sphincter muscle, this is the muscle that controls the flow of urine. Try ten long inhalations and exhalations and tighten the sphincter on the exhalation.
Floor: Get down on your hands and knees. Imagine a square block between your arms and thighs so that the arms and thighs are perpendicular to the floor and ceiling. On the inhalation, press your chest forward and arch your pelvis back. On the exhalation, make your chest concave and tilt your pelvis forward. At that point engage and lift the anus and prostate muscles. The alternating motion looks like arching waves. Remember to be gentle with your neck. Continue for sixty seconds with four-second inhalations and eight second exhalations.
2) The Plank (Benefits include improved sexual stamina during intercourse)
Assume a push-up position on the floor supporting the weight of your torso with your hands. Press out through your heels and engage your abdominal muscles so your back doesn’t sway. Over time, attempt to build stamina by holding the position for 30-60 seconds. Follow the pattern of breathing described above in the Moola Bandha Floor Exercise.
3) The Cobra (Benefits include improved sexual stamina during intercourse)
Lying face down on the floor with hands at your sides, inhale and feel the pressure on your hands as you lift your chest forward while keeping your pelvis and the tops of your feet on the floor. Keep your shoulders down, your shoulder blades together, your belly button and lower abdomen on the floor and your legs outstretched. Keep your chest open and lifted. Push away from the floor as you draw your elbows back. Like a cobra open your heart center. Hold this position for 30-60 seconds and follow the breathing described above in the Moola Bandha Floor Exercise.
Psycho-Spiritual Exercises:
Sexual union can be achieved even without orgasm. Many men think that the objective of sex is an orgasm, but healing and spiritual union are the real goals to be achieved. I have developed a meditation on unconditional love, which can make the sexual experience less tense and decrease the pressure to perform.
The most rewarding sexual act is to give completely of yourself to your lover without any expectation of anything in return. The meditation’s focus is on “How can I give how can I serve”. When you are focused on how to please you partner, you take the pressure off yourself to perform and the universe orchestrates a synchronistic flow of loving energy, allowing you to escape into the timelessness of creation. By giving completely you receive fully and the experience can only strengthen your love for each other. Here is an exercise, which will help you focus on giving.
If you are able, you should sit upright in a comfortable chair and close your eyes. Start to follow your breath. (Four-second inhalation, eight-second exhalation)
Imagine a green ball of light glowing from your heart chakra warming and expanding your feelings of love.
Recall the feelings of being loved, whether by a parent, a spouse, a child, a pet or anyone who has cared for you or touched you in some way.
Repeat the mantra “Love Light Joy” now with each inhalation and exhalation.
Now begin visualize your lover. Feel the love that this person has given you. Send loving kindness and visualize their heart chakra’s glowing.
Linger here just a moment longer.
And when you are ready you can open your eyes and begin to share in your expanded feelings.
There Are Also a Number of Ways to Take Your Foreplay to Higher Ground. A Fe of Them Are Listed Below:
Healing Massage:
Gentle stroking is an excellent way to focus on giving. Allow your partner the pleasure of receiving and yourself the pleasure of giving. I have found it much more rewarding to be the giver, as the energy comes back to you. You may want to switch off so that you each experience both giving and receiving.
Tactile stimulation is very healing, both physically and spiritually and healing massages are a beneficial part of a couples energy exchanges.
Reiki/Energy Channeling:
Reiki or energy healing practiced before intercourse can also heighten the sexual experience. Reiki is an Eastern healing art whereby one-partner channels spirit to the other. In this way the receiver can enter a deep state of relaxation similar to that experienced after meditation.
Two simple Reiki exercises are recommended. In the first position stand behind your partner and place your hand on their crown chakra. Hold this position for two minutes with the intention of sending loving healing energy. Reverse receiver and giver.
In the second position face each other with your right hand on your partner’s heart chakra and their right hand should be on your heart chakra. Look into each other’s eyes and send loving kindness.
Dietary Changes:
Reducing consumption of meat will lower testosterone levels, aiding in the fight against prostate cancer. In addition studies have shown that meat consumption increases aggressiveness. For maximum benefits to your Yoga practice and meditation I recommend reducing meat consumption and substituting fish, especially fatty fish such as salmon, and soy products.
And of course don’t forget your greens. If you feel good, and you are in good health, your sexual performance will be enhanced.
Accepting and Loving Yourself
Many urologists are convinced that masturbation three or four times per week might help in reducing the number of cases of prostate cancer. Men with diets rich in fat and red meat have elevated their testosterone levels. In addition watching sporting events further increases the levels of adrenaline and testosterone. Men who are not sexually active are at higher risk for developing prostate cancer due to the build up of testosterone and adrenaline. Therefore it is a healthy practice that could help save lives. In addition a visit to the massage therapist would also be advisable as tactile stimulation is very healing.
It has also been shown that for both men and women, connecting with the hormones of the opposite sex can be healing. So sex is not only good for your relationship but also good for your health and a vehicle to commune at a higher spiritual level.
About the Author
Bruce Van Horn is CEO of a Chestnut Ridge, N.Y. based Yoga for Business and author of several books on yoga for the work force including Yoga For Men. Bruce is fully engaged in the practice of reducing stress in our lives through well accepted eastern philosophies and one of their most respected physical manifestations, Hatha Sivananda yoga. Yoga For Business is one avenue he created as a path to enter the workplace to teach employees how to enhance their effectiveness and tap into a level of emotional and intuitive intelligence, which assists in development of entrepreneurial skills. Bruce Van Horn may be contacted at bvanhorn@yogaforbusiness.com or his website (click here) www.yogaforbusiness.com.
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